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4--DECEMBER 27, 2017
GOLDENDALE, WASHINGTON
Dear Savvy Senior,
What's the best way to distribute my personal pos-
sessions to my kids after I'm gone without causing
hard feelings or conflict? I have a lot of jewelry, art,
family heirlooms and antique furniture, and three
grown kids that don't always see eye-to-eye on things.
Planning Ahead
Dear Planning,
Divvying up personal possessions among adult
child 'en or other loved ones can often be a difficult
task. Deciding who should get what without showing
favoritism, hurting someone's feeling or causing a
feud can be difficult, even for close-knit families who
enter the process with the best of intentions. Here
are a few tips to consider that can help you divide
your stuff with minimal conflict.
Problem areas
For starters, you need to be aware that it's usually
the small, simple items of little monetary value that
cause the most conflicts. This is because the value
we attach to the small personal possessions is usu-
ally sentimental or emotional--the simple items are
the things that most families fail to talk about.
Family battles can also escalate over whether
things are being divided fairly by monetary value. So
for items of higher value like your jewelry, antiques
and art, consider getting an appraisal to assure fair
distribution. To locate an appraiser, see Appraisers.
org or AppraisersAssociation.org. Ways to divvy
The best solution for passing along your personal
possessions is for you to go through your house with
your kids or other heirs either separately or all at
once. Open up cabinets, drawers and closets, and go
through boxes in the attic and/or basement to find
out which items they would like to inherit and why.
They may have some emotional attachment to some-
thing you're not aware of. If more than one child
wants the same thing, you will have the ultimate say.
Then you need to sit down and make a list of who
gets what on paper, signed, dated and referenced in
your will. You can revise it anytime you want. You
may also want to consider writing an additional let-
ter or create an audio or video recording that further
explains your intentions.
You can also specify a strategy for divvying up the
rest of your property. Here are some methods that
are fair and reasonable:
Take turns choosing: Use a round-robin process
where your kids take turns choosing the items they
would like to have. If who goes first becomes an is-
sue, they can always flip a coin, draw straws or roll
dice. Also, to help simplify things, break down the
dividing process room-by-room, versus tackling the
entire house. To keep track of who gets what, either
make a list or use adhesive dots with a color as-
signed to each person to tag the item.
Have a family auction: Give each person involved
the same amount of play money, or use virtual
points or poker chips to bid on the items they want.
For more ideas, see "Who Gets Grandma's Yel-
low Pie Plate?" at YellowPiePlate.umn.edu. This is
a resource created by the University of Minnesota
Extension Service that offers a detailed workbook or
interactive CD for $12.50, and DVD for $30 that gives
pointers to help families discuss property distribu-
tion and lists important factors to keep in mind that
can help avoid conflict.
It's also very important that you discuss your
plans in advance with your kids so they can know
ahead what to expect. Or, you may even want to start
distributing some of your items now, while you can
still alive.
Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O.
Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org.
Jim Miller is a contributor to the NBC Today show
and author of "The Savvy Senior'" book.
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They're a blessing and a curse Some computerized machines
were made to make us jog, climb,
I hope you all have a very Happy or pump weights, all the while
New Year! monitoring our heartbeat or
Wow--2018: Remember when oxygen level--all because other
the whole world was going to machines have made us turn to
come to a screeching halt when them to regain our health. We are
the clock struck midnight on the in a machine world and turning
year 2000? I laughed at everyone evermore dependent upon them.
then and was justified, because There are numerous electronic
hu-mans created the computer so or computerized machines we use
humans can fix computers. They daily that we never even think
only exist to make humans work about. They wake us with music,
less and weigh more. brew our coffee, microwave our
Very few of our great grand- breakfast, take us to work (or
parents were overweight. They play), do our jobs for us while
worked at what we call our every- there, then home again to perhaps
day chores instead of letting the an already cooked meal in a con-
machines and computers do it for trolled heated environment. They
them. Granted, I've become as lazy answer our questions, monitor
as the next guy and can't imag- our lighting, keep us connected to
ine life without them, but have family and friends, and entertain
they made our bodies stronger? us for the evening, some by voice
alone. Now we don't have to go to
our encyclopedias--some can just
ask a pod in their home or their
mobile telephone. "Google, who,
what, where, when, why, or how?"
They get the answer within sec-
onds. Later some can retire to a
bed, which adjusts to their whims
by conforming to their bodies,
positions, or heat. And this is
just to name a few; I've barely
scratched the surface.
All in all, computers have
made our lives so easy, and yet
so unhealthy and, yes, I'm just as
guilty as the rest. I can't imagine
life without the PC. It entertains
and educates, and helps us stay
connected to loved ones--and sub-
mit personal opinions.
Mildred Lykens
Lyle
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